Archive for 78702

And The Two Shall Become One…Easier Said Than Done….But Very Possible!

I’m up getting the dog walk in early….Me up at 7am?…My what has happened to me? I used to be able to stay up so late!. Now I find myself going to bed early just to snuggle up under Bigbaby, my husband who goes to bed around 8:30 or 9pm…..
Now more often times than not, I’ll slide out of bed around 11pm headed to my office to flop on the couch and catch up on some late night sitcoms. For some reason, I find solace in my night owl mode.
Last night wasn’t any different, this morning I found myself waking up on the couch in my office. As I woke, I grabbed my phone to call Bigbaby (That’s what I call my husband. His name is David but I only him by his name when I’m upset with him…lol)
So anyway, I realized I couldn’t because he was at work. But its that wanting to talk to him, always be around him, can’t get enough of him mode I like living in. At times though, its not always like that. The reality of marriage is much more complex. There’s quite a bit of give & take that couples need to know about.
I think people get caught up in the euphoric stages of dating, then onto the glorious wedding day and think that married life is going to be one long honeymoon…..
Well, I came to tell you that marriage is WORK!…

Think about it…..And the two shall become ONE

That’s where the work is going to come in right there in the “become” part.

Here are two people who brought two different mindsets, beliefs, upbringings, rituals, ways, customs, cultures, eating habits….you name it. Some how within the marriage, the two have to find a way to blend those things to become ONE.

For us the blending was even more complex because it included kids from a previous marriage. Talk about tension!….But Bigbaby & I were so committed to each other that we tugged, pulled & pushed til we came together as ONE.

Wedding-Ring

See, when we got together, his kids didn’t like me & my mother didn’t like him….lol…Each side plotted & planned to get us to not see each other anymore. I don’t think they meant anything by it. They just lost a little of us in their lives because he & I spent so much time together trying to get to know each other.

From day one, we have been inseparable… Really, I never believed in love at first site but I’m here to tell you that it does happen.

We met through his sister who was my assistant as I taught Youth Bible Study. At that time, I was writing book that eventually I’ll get around to publishing.

Anyways, I was a pretty good pool player…Pool shark I’d say….lol… Back when I was night clubbin’, it was pretty hard to win a game from me to get me off the pooltable…Girl Power right there!..lol

So I get a call from his sister one night asking if I’d like to go play pool with her & her brother. Once I found out it was the cute one,Bigbaby,  I was on my way. For once in my life, I got somewhere on time. He showed up next but the sisters were late which left he & I to play a game of pool & get to know each other.

Immediately, there was something there. I couldn’t really explain it. But I knew it deserved further investigation. At the end of our time playing pool, he invited me to Denny’s for a bite to eat. There we sat til the wee hours of the morning laying our hopes & dreams out on the line. The most engaging conversation I’ve ever had with a man….

The next day he came to pick me up to hangout again. It’s been over 10 years since that day and we’re still hanging out laughing, working, sometimes fussing but always helping each other fulfill those dreams we talked about.

Sounds lovely right?…..What I haven’t elaborated on is the fact the ongoing struggle we had trying to get the kids on board with this world wind romance. The days that my stepson & I would go round & round about how things were to be placed in the kitchen. The meeting that was called by the kids to talk their dad into ousting me from the family…

Oh I haven’t even started to talk about how my mother didn’t have a problem telling me or Bigbaby he was not the one for me. Like a lioness protecting her young, she’d ask him, “You back again?” as she sat & stared him down while he waited for me to come down the stairs so we could head out on our next date…..

And the two shall become ONE…..easier said than done…but very possible…..

Yes, very possible. See, we both had to decide within ourselves whether the love we had was strong enough to withstand the turbulence that life brings. Once we deduced that it was worth it, we had to figure out a way to make all sides come together to get everyone on the same page.

For Bigbaby & I that meant sitting our family members down one by one and letting them know that we were going to be together regardless of what other’s thought and that we’d all have to put forth an effort at making things work.

So I set out to close the gap on my relationship with my stepson & stepped towards him as a woman who was placed in his life to help him grow. I’d ease over to his room and start conversations. At first, I didn’t get a response but gradually, we found common ground. Now, we have a warm supportive relationship.

And Bigbaby did the same with my mother as he noticed how she was always watching sports when he came over. He began to come to visit her not just take her daughter away. Now, I hate to be around them because all they talk about is sports as if they’re the only two in the room.

So, my point is this to anyone who is getting married, wants to get married, been married but its now on the rocks….. the two becoming ONE is very possible….but it’ll take some WORK.

No its not all about you. One side shouldn’t get their way all the time. Sometimes, you have to do what’s best for everyone. Even if that means making a sacrifice. Even if that means losing control over your domain. Even if that means you doing most of the bending. Eventually, things will roll around and you’ll be on the receiving end.

And it is in those moments my friends that the two begins to become ONE…..

One mindset…. Its scary but Bigbaby & I are beginning to think alike and finish each other’s statements…

One belief…We both are growing in God. Joined a church and now follow the same Word….

.One upbringing…We found we have a lot of childhood things in common.

One ritual…. One way… One custom….  Now we do things that best fit our household…..

One culture…..We both have come to love a lot of the same things….Some more than others. Now, I watch more sports with him & he watches more chick flicks because of me…..lol ,

And yes, even our eating habits have become similar both with their own little preferential twist….but still its coming together…..

So I say work on your relationships because you can’t help but grow closer. Put your time in because you can’t help but be energized by the strength of the relationship that will be produced. Keep doing what you have to do to keep it fresh & new to keep the heartrate of your relationship beating strong.

Most of all, pray separately & together for God to guide you all through…..For without Him, there is no coming together….

For what God has put together no man can separate!.

My marriage is amazing! Bigbaby is my bestfriend and keeps me laughing and yes…..sometimes crying! What a ride this has been & I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I have grown so much as a person, a woman, a wife & helpmate over the years. It hasn’t always been easy “Becoming ONE”…..But I thank God He has given us the love, wisdom & strength to do the WORK!

Until next time…..I’m GloFlyIMG_20130604_092555_723

Daydreaming is Good….Now Dig Deeper!

Standing here at the register at my shop thinking about the next things I want to say out on my street signage. The other day they fell victim to vandalism and were knocked down. Was I upset?….At first but then I decided to look at it as an opportunity to do more street marketing.

So, my husband, his brother & I reinforced the post to accommodate the banners. As we were out there working, we all laughed at the vandal (whoever he or she may be) saying, “They just don’t know us too well!…Stuff like this only fuels us to dig deeper!”.…We high-fived each other! “It’ll take more than this to run us off!”…..I love it when my husband gets that mindset…He’s a beast when it comes to digging in….

So anyway, it rained really hard just after we poured the concrete. So glad to find out that the concrete set just right.  So,I decided today that I’d mount those banners.  As I grabbed the staple gun, a thought crossed my mind……

“This is what it means to make dreams happen in your life!”……It’s the getting down to the act of making it happen. Whatever that act may be….Even if it calls for working in your brand new sandals……lol

See, today, I wore my brand new sandals…Jazzy wedge I got for a Mother’s day gift from my Bigbaby (My husband)…..With the staple gun in hand heading out the door, I looked down at my sandals and contemplated that today was not the day for all of this.  I was not trying to mess up my new sandals….So I laid the staple gun down and went to stand back behind the counter…..

I began to daydream…..Watching & listening to the traffic roll on by while I wrote post on Facebook, Tumblr…..The phone rings and its one of my clients calling to make an appointment to get her locs retightened because she was about to go on vacation.

The call must have been God’s way of snapping me out of it because I remembered a conversation I had with Bigbaby the night before. I told him that sales dropped in the beginning of summer because of family vacations & increased travel. That I had to step up my advertising to pull people in.

Then I posted this on Facebook, “Self-talk: Daydreaming is good…But at some point, you have to put your feet on the ground to make it happen!…..Get your head out of the clouds & Walk it out!”.… Basically,  get busy putting those banners up….lol

So I grabbed the staple gun again & the banner then walked out to the edge of the street.  Placed my cute sandals in that grass and stapled up those banners……Done! And now that act has fueled me to look around and see what else needs to be updated.

I’m a daydreamer. My imagination can run run run away with me.  I think it’s a good thing to daydream, ponder, just get lost in your thoughts. It’s in those thoughts that I see the big picture. The master plan…The template…. But those dreams & visions are no good if they stay in your head. At some point, you have to bring your head out of those clouds and put together a plan of action.

Write the vision and make it plain the Bible says. Put those thoughts on paper. Lay it out. Organize your thoughts. Those dreams are real. Yes, they can really come true. But not if they just remain a figment of your imagination. The dream…The vision is just the beginning. Now you have to do some research….

Consider the cost! What will it take to make this happen?….

I use the internet for pretty much all on my research. I’m up til the wee hours of the morning reading about the next essential oil I want to use in my next creation. And let me tell you, if you don’t like to read, you better pray that God open the flood gates on your love for reading because without it, you remain confused….uneducated…ignorant….I’m just keeping it real….

Its in the research that I gain my confidence. Its in the research that locks the information in my brain. Its in the research that I discover the information I need to make my dreams come to life. So, I’ll go on record to say if you’re not a reader, your dreams have a poor chance of making it.

You can’t just listen to what other people say….You have to know for yourself. I’m not trying to offend you or call you stupid if you don’t like to read. I’m just saying how important it is to you & your future.  The research is in the reading…..That’s the digging deeper!

So what am I trying to say?…..In a nutshell, Daydreaming is good…But at some point, you have to put your feet on the ground to make it happen!…..Get your head out of the clouds & Walk it out!”……

Your dreams should wake your life up. Give you purpose. A reason to get up every morning because you’ve got things to do. I don’t watch TV half as much as I used to. I mean I have my shows I still like to watch but now I’m watching them with my computer in my lap. I don’t even feel right watching TV if I’m not updating my website or marketing on some social network. I’ve got things to do & little time to do them.

I consider my time precious, very valuable because tomorrow is not promised to me. I have but a small window of life to make my mark. God has given me many talents & its up to me to use them to make a difference in the world whether it be through running my business or mentoring or simply being a good friend.

I have to walk out this life to the fullest.  God says He has come that we may have life and have it more abundantly….Its in the abundantly that I strive to live in. Dream big I say…Go for it….But also do the things needed to make those things happen.

One of my favorite scriptures that keeps me striving is Joshua 1:3. It says I promise you what I promised Moses: ‘Wherever you set foot, you will be on land I have given you-

That my friends is what you call Treading…. Unless the tread of the tire touches the ground, the car will not move.

The life that God has for you is already yours but you have to go after it. Do what you have to do with what you’ve got! No, not tomorrow!…. Go get some paper & write the vision today! Start the research towards making it happen. Find others who are like-minded & begin to network. Take baby steps so you won’t get discouraged…. But whatever you do keep treading….Keep moving!…..

Yes! You can lose that weight!…You daydream about the size you want to be. So go get busy!

Yes! You can own your own business!…You always daydream about it. Now go make it happen!

Yes! You can get that degree!!!! Go find out what it will take for you to start your classes!

Whatever it is you dream about doing in your life is possible….You just have to go for it! Make the tread touch the road……

Well, I hope this helped you….. I had to come to myself and get busy!

Oh yeah!….My sandals are still flawless & fly!!!!!!!

jazzy sandalUntil next time……I’m GloFly!

A Place Called There….

Something I wrote back when I was working nights at Abbott Labs and would go hiking every morning. I was struggling with my new relationship with God unable to get balance and I found hiking to be very therapeutic. You’d be surprised at the way nature will speak to you.

I was just beginning my love affair with writing and would end the hike sitting on the side of a stream of water. As I watched Nino (my Rottweiler) splash around, I thought to myself how water was like an army.  Wherever God tells it to go…. whatever God tells it to do, it is just obedient.”

As I allowed my thoughts to soar, this is what I wrote.

I consider it very appropriate! My first writing piece for my fist post in my blog!

I hope you enjoy it!

My favorite pic of The Nile River

As I look upon it, I become baffled as to how to explain it…

How do I describe it? Its flow is never ending….Nothing is able to stop it!

It appears thin and weak often misjudged by its vulnerable state.

I becomes the target of many obstacles. However, no matter the barrier, it keeps running

towards its destination. Whatever it takes, it will be there…..

With the greatest determination, it forges forward.

Climbing hills, creeping walls, piercing the earth, pressing in, it surrounds mountains

Slowly and methodically, it works its way through….

On and on it pushes…heading to the place called “There”

It rolls like a well-trained army, unified and in sync…..

Conquer the barrier! Get passed the barrier! It declares….. I’m on a mission…..

I must do what I was sent to do….To everything, I am the sustainer of life!

Some question just how I give life at all.What makes me able to restore?….

What makes me able to replenish?….

How do I strengthen the weak?….

What forces do I posses to empower the depressed?….

What substance do I contain that purifies the poisoned?…..

What is it that allows me to heal the broken-hearted?

Nothing can make me go away!

I can recall all history….

I’ve been here since the beginning of time…..

I have lasted throughout the ages.

I can transform to accommodate each and every season.

Thin yet massive, clear yet filled, I am what i am by the Grace of God!

At times, I’m stiff, frozen and motionless awaiting divine instructions….

Flowing yet controlled, I am able to move with extreme discipline and obedience…..

I can run fast foaming with tremendous aggression…conquering…overcoming!

I can move slow and smooth like a wave of silk leaving behind a shimmer of peace…..

Oh, I am not ashamed of what I have been called to do for I am submissive to the voice of

God….

No, I am not a man for man makes too many excuses and has too many options…..

No, I am not an animal for they remain limited and confined to the snares of civilization…

No, I am not a tree for they remain planted held to the confounds of there environment….

Come! Whoever is thirsty, let him come and whoever wishes, let him take of the free gift of

the water of life (Rev. 22:17)

Yes, I am the free gift…

The river of the water of Life as clear as crystal flowing from the throne of God…

So why do you remain thirsty man?….Even the tree knows of my contents…Even it knows

what I provide….

How long will your life be lifeless?

What is it that makes you choose both life and death at the same time?

Why have you insisted on being stiff-necked and dry?

Even the animals know of my contents…Even they know of what I provide….

Listen….Listen I am passing by. I call out to you, Drink of me!

In Me there is joy!….

In Me there is peace!….

In Me there is guidance and every sense of direction! 

I fill…… I heal…..I soothe…..I nourish!

Your soul will be quenched and your spirit will be fed.

Follow Me and I’ll show you the place called There!….

Where aspirations are fulfilled ….

Where dreams are realized….

Where the essence of life becomes understood….

Where the embodiment of the purpose of your life becomes known….

I await the day that you kneel and request to be consumed by Me…..

The Water of Life….

Drink of Me as I pass you by……

A revelation from the mind of God……

Until next time……. Glofly

The Blog of The Black Butterfly

Just another WordPress.com site